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A Time To Reflect on the Past!

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Please read this wonderful the University of Chicago Magazine article.

Several months after I completed my memoir, Manhood From the Hood, I found out that Mike Fourcher’s dad in 1971 had taken many photos of my “hood” in inner city Chicago.  Back then the University of Illinois called it the “Valley” because they had setup a clinic in our neighborhood.  We never knew this is what they called our neighborhood.  We just lived our lives and this is the area where I learned my values.  So much of my book is dedicated to this area while living in the “Valley.”  This was our “village” and I am proud to have experienced growing in this area during the 60′s. Please view the photos after you read the article.

Please click on link to read full article.

http://magazine.uchicago.edu/1110/kelly_lost-and-found.shtml

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Relationships R Us

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A dear friend quizzed me a few days ago

“Gail, I have just one thing I would sure like to know”

“When it comes to marriage, particularly your own

Is it a slam-dunk…would you claim it a success?

Or are there times you wish a return to a life of singleness?”

I furrowed my brow as I pondered while mute

Marriage, parenting, family and friends

These relationships flow through all our lives beginning to end

How do I answer her question and tell her the truth?

“Ah, my friend,” I finally responded

“Over the years, various connections with people have entered my life

Some connections are fluid, supportive; others are filled with strife”

“But one thing I know from the light in my heart

I do savor my marriage to Bill Roddy, until death do us part

And if I am the one rendered single that day

I can sit here before you and honestly say

No greater joy, no greater success hath this woman known

Than marriage, where sharing, comfort, and compassion have consistently grown”

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Excerpts From Manhood From the Hood

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The last several Mondays I have enjoyed posting the excerpts from Bill’s book, Manhood From the Hood. Bill’s book inspired me to reflect on my life, my family values and the many  high school youth I have had the honor to coach over the years. These are my last post and thanks for taking the time to read them.
“More excerpts from Manhood From the Hood by Coach Welter.”
69. What type of husband and father will I be?
70.What is an introspective journey?
71. Through my 8 year friendship with Gail Lamb, I was forced to learn how to develop an authentic, loving, caring, platonic relationship with a woman.

72. Remain independent.  Make your own decisions.  Never ask anyone to so something for you that you can do for yourself.

73. To be an ambassador for the values my grandparents, aunts, and other adult mentors in our community, who cared about young people taught me while I was growing up in Chicago.

74. In July of 1997 – we founded Osiris Organization with great hopes for the future of our youth and our country.

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Excerpts from Manhood from the Hood

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We all have great people who passed through our lives when we were young. Some were of worldly esteem; most were not.

But all cared to share whatever they had with us. Some shared money; some shared time; some shared a simple kind word or phrase of encouragement or just random acts of kindness.

Their influence was immeasurable.  We have never forgotten it.

If they are still alive, find them and tell them how much they mean to your life. If they have passed on, tell them anyway. Either way your words will touch them and they will be in awe that their humble sharing meant so much!

“More excerpts from Manhood From the Hood by Coach Welter.”

57. Many years have passed and the past is the past.

58. My grandfather’s values are how we live our lives.  They taught me a lot.

59. Bill’s biological father Larry (Butch) worked at the Ford Motor Company plant in Indiana.

60. Aunt Sam taught me one of the most valuable skills in life – learning to read another person’s body language to be able to tell if they accepted you or rejected you.  She taught me this skill without so much as ever saying a word.  Aunt Sam was our family’s spiritual and emotional healer.

61. Meeting his biological father was a very healing event for Bill.

62. Baseball is about swinging the bat, not standing up there waiting for a walk. (Dale’s attitude)

63. Be the best man you can be.

64. Make sure you thank people who have helped you.

65. Values start in the home.  Mrs. Grass’ kindness taught me that.  (Chocolate chip cookies made with unconditional love by an angel)

66. What does it mean to be a patriarch?

67. Tennis is not an easy sport, but it is a great game.  Tennis and humility.

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Excerpts from Manhood from the Hood

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It was a thrill watching the U.S. Gymnastics Championships this past weekend at the Excel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. To see those young women (and men) compete!

It was only the last twenty-five years of the 21st century that women truly began to be celebrated for their sports achievement.

Sixteen-year-old Jordyn Wieber captured the U.S all-around crown. Her coach, John Geddert cheered her on, wearing a purple shirt that matched her leotard.

I wonder how coaching young women is different from coaching young men? Maybe there isn’t a difference.

Any coaches care to weigh in? Let the discussion begin!!

More from Coach Denny Welter and why he was so inspired by Bill’s stories of grandfather Roddy.

47. The value of having a great friend.

48. Some of you are skipping classes, but you are only short-changing yourselves.  You will need more than basketball in your lives.  You will need your education to make it in this world.  “Let basketball be a vehicle that you can use to improve your life by taking you to places you only dreamt of.  Use basketball, but don’t let basketball use you.”  – Coach Vaughn

49. Teachers and coaches worked together to help us mature and succeed.

50. The point guard position is a reflection of the coach on the floor. (Adam)

51. We learn a lot about ourselves from failures and disappointments.

52. Use failure to motivate you.  Learn from your failures.  Learn from all of life’s experiences.

53. Coach Feely and I talked about the importance of education, family values, working hard, and the contacts I would make in college that would last a lifetime.

54. My grandfather and Coach Feely had similar values.  They came from different worlds and were raised in totally different environments.  Did similar values transcend racial, economic, political, religious views and social barriers?  What was it about family values that caused us to seek out others like ourselves?  Was such seeking a verification and validation of those values?  Or was it just a trait wired into our DNA that compelled us to desire a sense of belonging to one another?

55. After college, what will my life be like?

56. The value of being a good mentor and role model for younger siblings.

57. Many years have passed and the past is the past.

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Time Well Spent

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Over the weekend I took my son Cordell to Wild Mountain in Taylor Falls, Minnesota. He told me numerous of times about how much fun he was having, you could also see the excitement on his face. We started off by riding the go carts, he couldn’t drive one on his own because he did not meet the height requirement, so he rode with me. The laughing and the smiles of joy did not stop once while we were circling the track. The water slides were followed by the go cart riding, he went down each water slide on his own. We each had our own tube to go down the slides,  he really enjoyed that. He was genuinely happy and he had the time of his life.

Cordell is in the YMCA’s summer program so he goes on field trips all of the time. He has been to: Twins games, movies, different waterparks, museums, and many more places. He has enjoyed all of the field trips that he has been on but I have a feeling that our trip over the weekend was his favorite one of the summer, mainly because he was spending time with his Dad.

I had a great time as well and I concluded that no matter where you send your kid(s) for the summer to have fun, they will have the best time with their parents, at least in their younger years.

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Excerpts from Manhood from the Hood

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More from Coach Denny Welter and why he was so inspired by Bill’s stories of grandfather Roddy.

31.)  We bonded through class work and sports

32.) In younger days, we all got nickname given to us, usually by someone who was very respected in the community.  You never chose your own nickname.

33.)  Stay in school, stay out of trouble, and avoid drugs or alcohol.

34.)  It takes an entire village to raise a child.

35.)  Work hard on something you value.

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Excerpts from Manhood from the Hood

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More from Coach Denny Welter and why he was so inspired by Bill’s stories of grandfather Roddy.

Denny’s father, Ray Welter, believed in the work ethic. Denny grew up on a 160 acre farm and his dad was always telling him and his 2 brothers to get out in the fields and work.  And Dad didn’t mean the baseball field–he meant the corn field.

So the Welter kids developed a hard work ethic from their dad that carried them through the sports they played as well as through the positive life they chose!

26.) Take pride in what you have and don’t worry about keeping up with the Jones’.

27.) Great fathering is a family tradition.

28.) The value of Little League baseball was my life-long friendship with Ernest Leaks.

29.) Respect your elders both within your family and outside of it.

30.) Help each other with class work without being asked.

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It Makes Me Smile

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There are many things that make me smile but nothing makes me smile more than seeing the results of my parenting. This morning when I was dropping my son off to his summer program I noticed a few kids that were his age smiling from ear to ear. I noticed that they were looking directly at Cordell and he was smiling from ear to ear as well. As soon as he walked in the door, they all hugged each other as if they haven’t seen each other in years, but they had seen each other just the day before.

I always wondered how Cordell interacted with his friends and about what type of friends he would gravitate towards. It is one thing to hear about how he interacts with his friends from his teacher but to see it first hand makes me feel very good. I am affectionate towards Cordell and I always let him know that it is okay for him to be affectionate towards his family and friends.

Seeing what I teach Cordell in our household play out right in front of my eyes makes me smile, and seems to turn rough days into great days.

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Excerpts from Manhood from the Hood

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More from Coach Denny Welter. These quotes from actually came from Bill Roddy’s grandmother. Bill shares them in Manhood From the Hood and they greatly inspired Coach Welter!

21.) Traditional southern values – visitors were always invited to eat at our homes.

22.) Always attend church on Sunday.

23.) Always treat people the way you want to be treated.

24.) Mahatma Gandhi’s statement – “Be the change in the world that you want to see.”

25.) Wear clean clothes.

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