What comes to your mind when you think about romance and relationships?
Do YOU feel romance in your relationship? What might you YOURSELF offer so that you might give and receive romance in your relationship?
Do you know of any loving, romantic interlude your partner longs to experience?
If you don’t know, have you ever asked your partner what that might be?
Surprise your partner…Ask them…tonight…
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It’s so important for couples to thank one another for all the helpful things we do to keep our marriage, our hearth, and our health on a positive course!
It matters…it matter a lot!
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All week Bill Roddy appeared to have a heavy heart. I know him; I know what is happening in his life; I know what he was feeling:
“I work so hard. Yet it sometimes seems like I’m standing still, or at the very least, spinning my wheels!
Do you ever feel that way? The world little appreciates your skills…how hard you work to keep juggling all those pins in the air to support your family, your business, your community?
“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire.
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In this video, The Roddys share THEIR perspective on one of Gail’s idiosyncrasies that drive Bill NUTS.
Here we are, using a certain little marriage negotiation tactic that allows us to live in harmony…
Well…pretty much!!!
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Remember those enduring little idiosyncrasies about your partner you just LOVED?
Today, are some of those enduring idiosyncrasies a little bit uh…less endearing?
Do a few of them even make you want to throw up your hands in frustration?
In this video, The Roddys share the small things about each other’s behavior and habits that we regularly negotiate.
It’s all part of creating and keeping our marriage the loving and safe place we want it to be!
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Protecting a marriage and a family goes beyond the concerns of the physical needs for:
Food
Shelter
Clothing
In a marital relationship, we also need to protect one another from the emotional challenges of life.
Gail and I sometimes feel sad, angry, frustrated, and stressed from events beyond our control. We know that those are human feelings and that they ebb and flow in our lives. Of course, this means these stressful events and emotions will ebb and flow within our marital relationship.
It’s impossible to protect one another from the stressful events and the emotions thereby created. Gail and I are grown folks—we know and accept that we must step up and recognize the importance of striving to deal with our emotions in a healthy manner. If we don’t step up, if we don’t create emotional safety for each other…what’s the point of even being together?
That’s a huge part of providing for a family.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in our stress; it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. That’s OK…it happens.
Sometimes, all we need is a little “nudge” from the other spouse to help bring the marital sailboat around to an even keel.
My Manhood Moment video, Emotional Protection Matters In Marriage, says it all!
]]>“Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you and be silent.” — Epictetus
Today, Bill Roddy joined our young “mystery” man and me. I prepared lunch. We sat at the table and passed around a large bowl filled with greens, avocado, tomato, and broccoli.
Our young friend chuckled. “I remember the first few times Bill took me out to lunch. I was just a kid. To me lunch was burgers and fries at a fast food joint. I didn’t say anything, but I remember thinking, ‘why are we eating here? And he doesn’t really think I’m going to eat that rabbit food stuff?’”
“Bill always had a large salad for lunch. I thought that was the weirdest thing; especially for a guy. But Bill ate that salad like it was the most delicious meal in the world! It wasn’t long before I copied his behavior when I went to lunch with him. I don’t know, maybe it took a couple of years, but I started doing the same thing even when I ate alone!”
Bill sat silent, smiling his sly smile.
“I could tell you thought I was making you eat something horrible.” We all laughed. “Remember those first few lunches? I let you eat your burgers and fries. I didn’t even suggest that you eat what I was eating. I learned a long time ago that influence is best when it is silent and consistent.”
I laughed. “So, Mr. Salad Man! You’re gonna tell me that your Action Asset #4 means your future wife must be a nuts and berries eating vegetarian? Good luck with that one, my young friend!”
“No, I admit Action Asset #4 will probably be a bonus for me,” he said.
Bill and I chimed in together. “Huh?”
“I’ve noticed that women generally eat healthier than guys do, anyway. Women are usually way ahead of us on this one. So if she has the previous Action Assets, odds are she will probably have started healthy eating long before I did. I bet her kitchen construction tools will teach me a lot.”
We couldn’t agree more.
Next post: Valentine’s Day, Tuesday, February 14th. Action Asset #5 – the Master Bedroom – connection with intimacy
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Our young “mystery” man was late for our meeting at the local coffee establishment. But soon he arrived, flushed from hurrying!
“Sorry, I’m late, Mrs. Roddy. You know I work out at the health club each morning. Mondays are busy. It was hard to get the shower and get dressed. Everyone is trying to atone for weekend excesses!”
I laughed. “I know what you mean. Working out, staying physically fit is an important component in your life, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I’ve enjoyed the physical fitness of participation in team sports as a teen. Now that I’m older, I see it from a different angle. I know it’s important for my health and well-being. And I need to set an example for my child, too. How will she know physical fitness is important for her health unless I show her?”
I felt a bit of sadness. “Yes, and I see too many of your female peers worried about working out, sweating, thus destroying an expensive-to-get-and-maintain hairstyle. Some spend so many of their hard earned dollars at the hair salon and so few at the health club.”
Abruptly, he put down his coffee cup. “That’s my #1 Action Asset, Mrs. Roddy! I want my relationship and marriage to involve the two of us working out at the health club several times a week. My future wife doesn’t need to maintain a particular dress size. She doesn’t need to workout the same way that I do. But she needs to exercise several days a week valuing her health, our health, more than valuing an expensive hairstyle!”
“My young friend, your #1 Action Asset should set a great Foundation for your Love Under Construction home of peace, joy, and health!”
Next post: Friday, February 3. The foundation is set – Our young man explains #2 Action Asset
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