May 21, 2012
“As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do.” ~ Zachary Scott
I love talking with entrepreneurs! Doesn’t matter—young folk or the more mature person leaping into, “I want to be my own boss!” I love immersion in the excitement mixed with the real fear of the unknown.
Yesterday, we had brunch with “Maya.” She’s trying to find the precise combo of timing and financial means to leave her corporate position and launch her part-time business into a full-time enterprise.
As she struggles to decide the precise time to fully launch her business, Maya looked to me (and Bill) for advice.
“How do I decide if and when this is the right thing to do?”
It’s impossible to tell her how. We can only tell her that 15 years ago, Bill and I simply decided to:
Dive in and start swimming toward the other shore
We knew there was a possibility of drowning before we reached the other side. So be it—standing safely on the shore ceased being an option in our life.
I shared an old story with Maya. When I was 21, I decided to travel around Europe for 3 weeks in July. None of my peers could accompany me.
“I wonder if Mom would like to go? Wow. Wouldn’t that be a blast?”
Mom was thrilled that as a 21-year-old I wanted to spend 3 weeks in Europe with my mother. We made plans to go. Then she changed her mind. She wouldn’t go.
I went on my European jaunt…alone.
Mom and I have spoken of that fateful trip (and her regret) numerous times over the years. I called Mom this afternoon and told her I’d shared the story and the regret with Maya.
“Mom, I know you’ve said that not going to Europe with me was one of the biggest regrets of your life. That if you could go back, if you knew then what you know now, you’d never pass up such an opportunity.
“Tell me what I can tell Maya. Give her some advice from your perspective.”
Silence on the phone line. Uh oh. Did I dredge a painful memory?
Mom chuckled. “I wish someone had given me this advice all those years ago. Tell Maya to get a blank sheet of paper. Write CON at the top of the page on the left side and PRO on the right side. Tell Maya that this would have been my list:”
CON
My husband doesn’t want me to go to Europe
He might fall asleep with a lit cigarette and burn down our house
He might fall asleep leaving food cooking on the stove and burn down our house
I might lose all the “stuff” I’ve worked so hard for
I alone am responsible to keep the peace in my marriage
I alone am responsible to insure my husband’s peace of mind
He might need me
He might get sick
He will pout for weeks when I return home
I’m worried there will be hell (and bills) to pay
Just thinking about what I might lose is so painful
PRO
My smart, adventurous, grown woman child wants to share the trip of a lifetime with ME…I may never get another chance to do it
I have the money
My smart, adventurous, grown woman child wants to share the trip of a lifetime with ME…I may never get another chance to do it
I have the vacation time
My smart, adventurous, grown woman child wants to share the trip of a lifetime with ME…I may never get another chance to do it
If he burns down the house, we have insurance
My smart, adventurous, grown woman child wants to share the trip of a lifetime with ME…I may never get another chance to do it
If he burns down the house, that may be his inspiration to quit smoking
My smart, adventurous, grown woman child wants to share the trip of a lifetime with ME…I may never get another chance to do it
The mere thought of this trip makes my heart leap with joy
“Mom! So what do you think Maya’s list will tell Maya?”
“Maya will know, honey—Maya will know. Let her find out for herself.
Just like I did…”
Wow! This blog post is the blog post of all blog posts. I’m sure if Maya reads this she’d send a million thank yous to your mother! Fantastic advice…
Thank you Dara for your kind review! Maya did call and asked me to thank my super savvy Mom!